A peer Managing Director told me this story the other day:
"Last year, I sat in a promotion meeting at Rabobank. One name didn't come up that should have.
Arjun, an Indian software architect. Good work, consistent results, had just finished an important project. But his manager said: "I don't know what he wants. He never asks about career opportunities."
Arjun waited for someone to see his talent. What a waste of talent! That's not how it works in the Netherlands. You have to start the conversation yourself."
Simple difference, big consequence. It cost him a year and a half to move up a level.
I led international teams at ABN AMRO and Rabobank for 25 years. The same pattern kept coming back: capable people who got stuck, not because they weren't good enough, but because they expected different rules of the game. A few examples you might recognize:
If you're from Asia, Latin America or Southern Europe, you deliver good work and wait for recognition. In the Netherlands, you won't get that unless you ask for it.
If you're from the US, Israel or Germany, you say what you think directly. In the Netherlands, that irritates if you haven't first checked what others think.
If you're from Japan or Indonesia, you avoid conflict. In the Netherlands, that means having no opinion or giving the impression you're not engaged.
None of these approaches is wrong. They just don't fit the Dutch system.
A missed promotion costs you roughly €5,000 to €15,000 per year. If it takes you eighteen months longer, you miss out on that amount. Plus the projects that go to others because they make themselves more visible.
But the worst part is the doubt that creeps in. "Is it me?" Usually not. It's about rules nobody explains to you.
Last week I spoke with a Brazilian consultant.
Her manager had said: "Your presentation was unclear and too long." She asked me: "Is he angry?"
No. He thought she was good enough to be honest with.
In many countries, criticism is wrapped up. In the Netherlands it isn't. That feels blunt. But the Dutch logic is: if I give you feedback, it means I think you can do something with it. It's a form of respect.
What can help you:
Ask follow-up questions. Not just "Thanks for the feedback" but "What would you do differently?"
Take time if you need it. "Thanks. I need to think about this. Can we talk about it again tomorrow?"
Both are quite normal in the Netherlands.
This might be controversial, but "be yourself" is bad advice for you.
Not because authenticity doesn't matter, but because "being yourself" in Singapore means something different than in Amsterdam.
The best international professionals I saw adapted their style per context. With Dutch colleagues: informal, direct. With Asian stakeholders: more formal, more structure. With American VPs: quick pitches, results-driven.
That's not being fake. That's being smart.
Yuki, a Japanese project manager. Two years frustrated, wasn't moving up.
I asked: "When was the last time you asked about a promotion track?"
"Never. That's arrogant, isn't it?"
"In Japan perhaps. In the Netherlands it's expected."
She did it. Three weeks later she had the conversation. Two months later she had her promotion agreement.
What changed? Not her competence. Her behavior.
Download 5 simple steps to make you feel more confident on the Dutch work floor that your colleagues already know. Enjoy the Guide!
