How To Ask For a Promotion
In my 25 years in international banking, I hired hundreds of people and wrote hundreds of appraisals.
I've been in the room where promotion decisions get made. And the number one reason talented people don't get promoted isn't performance. It's that they never asked.
The waiting game nobody wins
I see this all the time. Smart, hard-working professionals sitting quietly, doing great work, and waiting for their manager to notice. Waiting for someone to say: "You're doing great. Do you want a promotion?"
If you're already at the top of your pay scale, your manager may simply be waiting for you to raise it yourself. Not because they don't see you. Sometimes because they assume you're happy where you are.
So the first question isn't how to ask. It's: do you actually know what you want?
I've asked hundreds of people directly: where do you see yourself going? And so many say: "I don't know. I like what I do." That's a fine answer. But it also means they've never really sat down and figured out what they actually want from their career.
Job, career, or job job?
Before you think about promotions, understand what you're actually in.
A job job is just that, you show up, you do the work, you go home. Nothing wrong with that. A job is where you use your skills and grow within a role. A career is where you're building something over time – direction, seniority, leadership.
If you want a career but you're treating it like a job, you'll be frustrated. If you want a job but you're chasing a career, you'll be equally unhappy.
The corporate game
Every company has two sets of rules. The written ones – your contract, your performance framework, your review cycle. And the unwritten ones – how decisions actually get made, who matters, what your manager really values, whether you need to ask permission for a dentist appointment or just go.
Ask your manager how things work. Ask colleagues who are in the role you're aiming for. Ask about your employee benefit budget, you'd be amazed how many people don't even know their company has one.
Timing is everything
I've had people ask me for a promotion in a casual Friday check-in. It never landed well.
It's like asking for a cookie right before dinner. Even if your mother loves you and would happily give you that cookie, the timing puts her in an awkward spot and you probably won't get it.
Your company almost certainly has formal review moments, midyear and end of year. Those are built for exactly this conversation.
And if you want to be really smart about it: about six weeks before your review, be your absolute best self at work. Visible, proactive, delivering. Because when your manager sits down to fill in your appraisal form, they'll think about the last six weeks.
How to walk in ready
Put on your manager's glasses.
What does your manager actually value? Speed? Precision? Being easy to work with? Think about how they look at your performance and score yourself honestly through their eyes.
Revisit your last appraisal.
What growth points were flagged? Come prepared with concrete examples of what you actually did about them. If your manager said six months ago "I'd like you to be more visible in meetings", come back with exactly what you tried and what changed.
Rate yourself honestly.
There are three levels: average, good, and better than expected. If everyone in your team is working hard and delivering, you're not standing out, you're keeping up. You want to be the one who makes the difference.
Collect feedback early.
A month before your review, invite key colleagues and stakeholders for a coffee and ask how they think you're doing. Proactively asking for feedback signals that you want to grow and in most companies, that matters more than people realize.
Lead with your own view.
Don't wait for your manager to tell you how you're doing. Share your self-assessment first. It shows confidence and saves the meeting from becoming a passive download of someone else's opinion.
Take new feedback like data.
If your manager says something that stings, don't defend. Don't explain. Just write it down and say you'd like to think about it. Nobody likes feedback, but the people who do something with it are the ones who grow.
Do you need to be more direct?
I hear this a lot from internationals: "I thought I needed to act more Dutch to be taken seriously here."
Real Dutch directness, is often blunt in a way that even Dutch people sometimes feel uncomfortable. You don't need to perform that. And if it doesn't come naturally, it will feel incongruent. Stay close to your own communication style. Be clear, be confident, be specific about what you want, but do it in a way that's genuinely you.
What I would say is this: make sure people know your intention. Not by announcing it every five minutes. But by saying it clearly, once, to the right people. "My ambition is to move into a director role in the next three years." That's not arrogant. That's useful information for your manager to have.
What if the answer is not yet?
Ask what "not yet" actually means. What are the timelines? What do you need to demonstrate? What needs to change? And if you're starting a new role, ask about your perspectives before you even start. When you're at 90% of agreeing on an offer, ask. "What does growth look like in this role? When would we typically have that conversation?"
If you've been in a role for three years and your manager can't tell you what your path looks like, that's information too. It might mean it's time to have a different conversation. Or time to call us.
One last thing
The cookie analogy keeps coming back to me because it's true. Your manager, a good one, genuinely wants to give you that cookie. They want you to grow. They want to keep talented people. The only thing standing between you and the cookie is usually one well-timed conversation.
Simon Jansen is founder of The Happy Expats and spent over 25 years in international banking, including 20+ years in management. He works with international professionals navigating the Dutch workplace, from salary negotiations to career direction.
Want to talk through your specific situation? Book a session with Simon.
