An interview with Allard Klok on feedback culture, international teams, and why Dutch directness isn't the solution

Feedback is already difficult enough. Add cultural differences to the mix, and what should be a constructive conversation can quickly become a minefield of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and missed opportunities for growth.

After two decades of team coaching and leading feedback training programs across Europe, Allard Klok has seen it all. As lead team coach at The Happy Expats, he specializes in helping international teams navigate the complex intersection of feedback culture, communication styles, and cultural sensitivity. His approach to team development goes far beyond the standard feedback models that most HR departments rely on.

I sat down with Allard to understand why feedback training for international teams requires a fundamentally different approach, and what team leads and managers need to know before investing in their next team development program.

The Hidden Complexity of Feedback in Multicultural Teams

"Feedback is already a challenge in any organization," Allard begins. "It's not without reason that so many companies struggle with it. Speaking up to a colleague is inherently difficult—we all want to stay friends with each other, right? Giving feedback carries the risk that the other person won't like us anymore, or that they'll become difficult to work with. That fear holds us back."

But in international teams, these universal challenges are amplified by layers of cultural conditioning that most people aren't even aware of.

"The question isn't just 'how do we give good feedback?' The real question is: 'What gets triggered when we find it difficult to give or receive feedback?' And those triggers are deeply influenced by the cultural background we bring to work every day."

The Three Feedback Triggers That Derail International Teams

Allard's framework for understanding feedback resistance centers on three core triggers—a model that proves particularly valuable when working with diverse teams:

1. Content Trigger: "The Feedback Isn't Accurate"

This trigger activates when someone believes the feedback they're receiving is simply wrong, or when they're hesitant to give feedback because they can't clearly recall the situation or articulate what went wrong.

"I don't dare give feedback because I'm not sure exactly what I wanted to say, or what the situation actually was," Allard explains. "Or on the receiving end: 'This feedback doesn't match my experience at all.'"

In international teams, the content trigger becomes more complex because different cultures have different standards for what constitutes "accurate" feedback. Some cultures value extensive documentation and specific examples, while others rely more on general impressions and relationship-based observations.

2. Relationship Trigger: "This Will Damage Our Connection"

The relationship trigger is about fear—fear that giving feedback will harm the working relationship, or that receiving critical feedback means the other person is attacking you personally.

"I don't dare give feedback because I'm afraid the relationship will break," says Allard. "Or I can't receive feedback because the other person is really hurting me."

This is where cultural differences become particularly visible. In some cultures, direct critical feedback is seen as a sign of respect and investment in the relationship. In others, it's perceived as an aggressive act that damages trust and harmony.

3. Identity Trigger: "Who Am I to Judge?"

The identity trigger relates to self-worth and competence. When giving feedback: "Who am I to give this feedback?" When receiving it: "This is too much for me. I can't handle this."

Allard notes that cultural background heavily influences the identity trigger. "In cultures where hierarchy matters more, junior team members may feel it's not their place to give feedback to someone more senior. And in cultures that emphasize collective harmony, receiving personal feedback can feel like a fundamental attack on your value within the group."

Why Dutch Directness Isn't the Answer (And Can Make Things Worse)

Many international professionals working in the Netherlands have experienced the shock of Dutch feedback culture. What Dutch colleagues consider "normal and constructive" can feel brutally harsh to someone from a different cultural background.

From my own experience in the financial industry I recognize this and am always fascinated by these differences:

Outside-In Communication (Common in the UK, and many Asian cultures)

"Thank you for sending your memo. There are some interesting points here—the structure is quite comprehensive, and I can see you've put thought into this. I think we might want to look at a few areas in more detail before we move forward. Overall, it's something we should definitely discuss further as a team."

The feedback is indirect, diplomatic, and wrapped in positive framing. The critical message is there, but you have to read between the lines to find it.

Inside-Out Communication (Common in the Netherlands, Germany, and Nordic countries)

"It's an awesome concept! But let me give you some feedback on your memo. The structure needs work—section two doesn't flow logically from section one. And your conclusion contradicts the data you presented earlier. Fix those issues and we can move forward."

The feedback is direct, specific, and leads with the problems. To a Dutch person, this is helpful and efficient. To someone from an outside-in culture, this can feel aggressive and even disrespectful.

"We've learned in the Netherlands to speak our minds more easily," Allard explains. "To stand on our own two feet and say what we think. But there are many cultures where that's not the norm at all—where the focus is much more on 'how do we do this together?' rather than 'what do I think individually?'"

The Cultural Dimensions That Shape Feedback

When Allard works with international teams on feedback training, he doesn't start with feedback techniques. He starts with cultural awareness.

Eye Contact: A Case Study in Miscommunication

"Take something as simple as eye contact," Allard offers. "In Indonesian culture, for example, you don't look someone directly in the eyes—it's a sign of respect to avoid prolonged eye contact. But for a Dutch person giving feedback, looking someone in the eye is essential. It shows you're engaged, that you're genuinely connecting with them."

When a Dutch manager gives feedback to an Indian team member who keeps looking away, the manager might interpret this as disinterest or dishonesty. Meanwhile, the Indian employee is simply showing respect—but feels increasingly uncomfortable with what they perceive as aggressive, confrontational behavior.

"If I understand where your behavior comes from, and you understand where mine comes from, we can have a real conversation," says Allard. "That's the foundation. Without that mutual understanding, we're just talking past each other."

Language and Nuance: The Hidden Barrier

Even when everyone in a meeting speaks English, language creates barriers to effective feedback.

"If English isn't your native language, it becomes much harder to convey your message precisely," Allard notes. "And Dutch is different from English, what that means for giving and receiving feedback is significant."

Dutch speakers often find that English forces them to be more polite and indirect than they would be in Dutch. Meanwhile, non-native English speakers may struggle to pick up on subtle cues or may unintentionally sound too formal or too blunt.

"We need to explicitly discuss how language affects feedback in the team," Allard emphasizes. "Because these differences are operating below the surface, affecting every interaction, and most teams never talk about it."

Beyond Feedback Techniques: The Process-Oriented Approach

What distinguishes Allard's team coaching approach from standard feedback training is the focus on underlying processes rather than surface-level techniques.

"Most feedback training teaches you the steps: situation, behavior, impact, desired change. And yes, those frameworks are useful," Allard acknowledges. "But in international teams, that's not where the real work needs to happen."

Instead, The Happy Expats' feedback training for international teams focuses on three core elements:

1. Understanding Your Own Needs and Cultural Conditioning

"The first step is learning to articulate your needs," says Allard. "And that's where culture immediately comes into play. We work on helping people recognize: What did I learn from my cultural background about being in contact with others? How does that shape what I need from feedback?"

This might involve exploring questions like:

• How was disagreement handled in your family growing up?

• In your first jobs, what happened when someone made a mistake?

• What does "respect" mean in your culture, and how is it demonstrated?

2. Creating Shared Understanding Across Differences

"The most important thing is: how do we stay in contact with each other?" Allard emphasizes. "That's what it all comes down to. What is my need? What is your need? And can we look beyond our biases to find a way to meet both needs as well as possible?"

This requires dedicated time and space for team members to share their cultural backgrounds, communication preferences, and feedback triggers without judgment.

3. Practicing Real Situations, Not Hypotheticals

"We bring in real situations from practice," Allard explains. "We have in-depth conversations: What are you actually encountering in your work? It's not so much about the feedback steps, but more about the process behind them. What happens to you when you do or don't give feedback? That's where we focus."

This means working with actual conflicts, missed deadlines, and tense interactions from the team's recent history, not role-playing generic scenarios from a training manual.

What Makes This Approach Different: Team Development, Not Just Skill Building

Traditional feedback training treats feedback as a skill to be learned. Allard's approach treats it as a relationship challenge to be solved collectively.

"You can teach someone the 'feedback sandwich' technique in an hour," Allard says. "But that won't help them navigate the moment when they need to tell a colleague from a hierarchical culture that their work isn't meeting standards. It won't help a team member from an indirect culture understand that their Dutch colleague wasn't being aggressive—that was just normal directness."

The Happy Expats' Team coaching methodology includes:

• Cultural mapping sessions where team members explore their own cultural conditioning around conflict, hierarchy, and directness

• Feedback trigger identification to help each person understand their personal patterns and vulnerabilities

• Communication style calibration where the team collectively decides how they want to give and receive feedback, creating shared agreements that respect everyone's needs

• Practice with real team scenarios facilitated in a safe environment where people can try new approaches and learn from mistakes

• Follow-up coaching sessions to address issues that arise as the team implements their new feedback practices

"This isn't a one-day training where everyone gets a certificate and nothing changes," Allard clarifies. "This is team development work. It takes time, commitment, and willingness to be vulnerable with each other."

The ROI of Getting Feedback Right in International Teams

The business case for investing in proper feedback training for international teams is compelling. Teams that struggle with feedback culture typically experience:

• Slower decision-making as people avoid difficult conversations

• Hidden conflicts that eventually explode into major team dysfunction

• Talent loss when international professionals feel misunderstood or disrespected

• Reduced innovation because people don't feel safe to challenge ideas or suggest improvements

• Project delays when problems aren't surfaced early enough

Conversely, teams that develop strong cross-cultural feedback capabilities see:

• Faster problem-solving because issues are addressed promptly

• Higher psychological safety leading to more innovation and risk-taking

• Better retention of international talent who feel valued and understood

• Improved team cohesion as people learn to trust each other across cultural lines

• More effective collaboration as communication becomes clearer and more intentional

"The teams I've coached who really commit to this work see transformation," Allard reports. "Not overnight, but over months. Suddenly people are having conversations they would have avoided before. They're solving problems faster. They're actually enjoying working together more."

Is Your Team Ready for Real Feedback Development?

Not every team is ready for this level of work. It requires:

• Leadership commitment to modeling vulnerability and cultural humility

• Time investment beyond a one-off training session

• Psychological safety as a baseline (or willingness to build it)

• Genuine curiosity about why people from different backgrounds think and communicate differently

• Patience with the learning process and inevitable mistakes along the way

"If a team lead or HR manager comes to me wanting a quick fix—a one-day workshop that will 'solve' their feedback problems—I'm honest with them," Allard says. "That's not what we do. But if they're ready to invest in real team development, to create lasting change in how their international team communicates, then we can do remarkable things together."

Taking the Next Step: What to Consider for Your Team

If you're a team lead, manager, or HR professional recognizing these challenges in your own international team, here are the questions to ask yourself:

1. How often do cultural misunderstandings cause friction in your team? Not just major conflicts, but small moments of confusion, hurt feelings, or missed communication?

2. Are feedback conversations being avoided? Do people wait until performance reviews to address issues, or do problems get escalated to you rather than resolved peer-to-peer?

3. Is your international talent thriving or just surviving? Are your non-Dutch team members fully engaged, or are they remaining quiet in meetings and keeping their ideas to themselves?

4. What has your team tried already? If you've done standard feedback training and it hasn't created lasting change, the issue likely isn't skills—it's cultural dynamics.

5. What would be different if feedback flowed naturally in your team? Paint the picture of what you're working toward. That vision will help determine if you're ready for the investment.

Team coaching in The Happy Expats

Allard Klok brings 20 years of team coaching experience to his work with international teams. As lead team coach at The Happy Expats, he combines deep expertise in group dynamics with nuanced understanding of cross-cultural communication challenges.

The Happy Expats feedback training programs for international teams are customized to each team's specific composition, challenges, and goals. Whether your team is struggling with Dutch directness, navigating multiple cultural communication styles, or simply wants to elevate their feedback culture to drive better performance, Allard's approach provides the framework and support to get there.

The Happy Expats specializes in supporting international professionals and the teams they work in throughout the Netherlands. Based at Utrecht Central Station but working with teams across the country, founder Simon Jansen and team coach Allard Klok have helped hundreds of professionals navigate the complexities of Dutch workplace culture.

Ready to Transform Your Team's Feedback Culture?

If you're ready to move beyond surface-level feedback training and invest in real team development, let's talk.

Book a 30 mins consultation call with Simon Jansen to discuss:

• The specific feedback challenges your international team is facing

• Whether The Happy Expats' approach is the right fit for your team

• What a customized feedback training program could look like for your organization

• Next steps for getting started with team coaching

[Schedule your consultation call here]

During this call, there's no pressure or hard sell. We'll have an honest conversation about what your team needs and whether we're the right partners to help you get there. If we're not the right fit, we'll tell you, and point you toward resources that might serve you better.

Because at the end of the day, feedback in international teams isn't about teaching people to be more Dutch, or more indirect, or more anything. It's about creating shared understanding, building genuine connection, and giving people the tools to stay in contact with each other even when things get difficult.

That's the work that matters. And that's the work we do.